Open Road

Have you ever heard a story that lingers with you for days?

The dramatic story of Esau and Jacob in the Bible is like that for me; it always takes up residence in my thoughts and in my heart.

Esau was born first while his twin brother Jacob came into the world grasping the heel of his brother (Genesis 25:26). If he had words at such a young age, Jacob may have been shouting, “Noooooo. Me first!” In biblical times, the firstborn son would receive the esteemed family birthright, including a place of leadership, great spiritual blessings, and a double portion of the family inheritance!

Fast forward to the “when they are older” part of the story. Esau arrives home exhausted and famished from hunting. He finds Jacob cooking lentil stew and Esau begs his brother for some of the food. Jacob offers up a ridiculous trade – a bowl of bean stew and some bread for Esau’s birthright! And…

Wait for it…

Esau agrees! He agrees. He sells all of his rights as the firstborn son for a serving of soup and bread.

Sounds crazy. Foolish. I shake my head and wonder what he could have been thinking.

Until I remember that I do the same thing. All. The. Time.

Throughout my teen and adult years I have struggled daily with food, weight, body image and anything else in that general department. I hate to brag, but I’m pretty sure I hold the record for the most times a person has rejoined Weight Watchers!

I know full well the long-term benefits of making better choices: lower health risks, longer life, positive example for my kids, increased confidence, improved energy, and the list goes on and on.

Massive rewards. Just as significant as Esau’s birthright.

Yet quite often I choose the bowl of beans (preferably of the jelly variety), willingly satisfying an immediate desire at the cost of a long-term goal. This happens when I depend too much on my own strength and too little on God. It happens when I don’t prioritize planning for the week (or a really busy day) and I set myself up for setbacks. It happens when I forget to pause and breathe for a minute when temptation stares me in the face. If I push through that initial impulse, the moment passes leaving me empowered rather than discouraged.

In Lysa Terkeurst’s book Made to Crave, she says: “Whether we’re on the path toward victory or defeat is determined by the very next choice we make. Not the choices from yesterday. Not the choices from five minutes ago.” I need to lovingly remind myself daily that I have the tools for a consistent “next choice” that will propel me forward rather than pull me back.

I was thinking about these perpetual struggles recently as I drove around a traffic circle with four roads jutting off of it in all directions. Looping around the circle to get to my “exit,” I realized that I forgot something at home. I had to keep on driving around the circle to get back where I started.

This scene is precisely my experience with focusing on the big picture vs. right now. Big picture choices lead to an open road, while succumbing to momentary temptations keeps me stuck in the circle.

Do you have a “traffic circle” struggle in your life? If so, you probably relate to the extreme frustration of that all too familiar loop. We have good intentions and often great plans. We may even exit the tedious circle for a while, only to make a screeching U-turn along our open road straight back to where we were. It’s exhausting and disheartening, but I believe we can all reach our destination… one decision at a time.

I pray that God will bless each of us who seek to embrace the open road without looking back. May we roll down our windows, turn on some tunes, and drive off courageously in the direction of our birthright!

You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn North.  Deuteronomy 2:3